As I understand it, Steve Balmer was pretty upset when he found out, but since there were no chairs readily available within throwing distance I am still alive to tell the tale.
So, to start off, I think its probably appropriate to start with a short discussion of what adventure racing is since the sport doesn't exactly receive NFL levels of media exposure. Now, the "official" definition of adventure racing is:
Adventure racing is a combination of two or more disciplines, including orienteering and navigation, cross-country running, mountain biking, paddling and climbing and related rope skills. An expedition event can span ten days or more while sprints can be completed in a matter of hours. Typically there is no dark period during races, regardless of their length the choice when (and if) to rest is left to the competitors.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventure_racing
and while I wouldn't normally presume to question the awesome, some might say prescient, knowledge base that is wikipedia, I think this definition is about the same caliber you might get if you asked Stevie Wonder what red is.
Stevie might tell you (if he were of a particularly clinical mindset when you asked him...just go with me on this one) that red is a color with a wavelength between 625-750 nanometers. He might go on to tell you something particularly insightful about the making of Ebony and Ivory, or the history of Motown, and while everything he said is factually accurate this description doesn't even begin to capture any of the subtle nuance inherent in EXPERIENCING the color red. Essentially, you wouldn't really walk away learning anything useful about the color red...unless you're an astrophysicist who spends a lot of time behind a spectrometer...in that case the whole nanometer thing is pretty darn cool.
So, you might ask (and I'm glad you did), what is a BETTER definition for adventure racing? I'll give you my take since you asked so politely, and I'll even tailor my description into short vignettes (not to be mistaken for baguettes, which are very good, but totally unrelated) that are tailored for an audience that grew up on MTV style video cut ups and Rocky musical training montages, and consequently has an attention span roughly equivalent to that of an over-caffeinated hummingbird.
Adventure racing is: muddy...unforecasted swimming... short naps on asphalt in the middle of friggin nowhere...rocky...a $225 T shirt that is EXACTLY the same one I got last race...sandy...getting to see the red sauce from your enchilada again and again...hilly...balancing the value of local trail knowledge against the emotional pain of talking to the crazy guy who just walked up to you...wet...one gel per hour and one meal every four hours unless you want to bonk...cold...hot...harder than running...painful...exhilarating...a good way to get rid of that extra money you have lying around...lots of quality time at your local outfitter...a meaningful relationship with a good bike mechanic...packing...repacking...checking your packing...checking everyone else's packing...watching while everyone else checks your packing...getting pissed off when the race staff doesn't give a damn about the stuff that you spent all that time packing (which leads you to wish you were PACKING, if you take my meaning)...bar none the best argument in favor of the existence of the camelbak...flying headfirst over your handlebars and sticking the landing well enough to earn a score of 9.5, even from the tough German judge, and you would have had a ten if you'd only kept your feet together...long uphill rides in the middle of the night which provide ample opportunity for soul searching...traversing a 4 inch wide trail with a bike over your shoulder and trying not look down...truly appreciating the value of a good lighting system...a great way to find out who your real friends are...better practice reading and using a map than I ever got in the Army..wet, soggy, blistered feet that smell like they are wrapped in leathery burnt bacon...one of many ways available to test the strength of a marriage.
As time passes, I am sure we can wicker that, shall we say wordy, definition down into something a bit more succinct, but I think that captures most of the essentials. Feel free to elaborate or comment from your own perspective. I'd be interested to see how your experience differs from mine.
8 comments:
Wow, John. You could have not spent the entire first half of your post on something totally tangential. ;)
Hey man, its a blog, not a doctoral thesis. Steam of consciousness. You're just lucky I didn't go all James Joyce on your ass and ramble on for 30 pages without completing a sentence.
"Steam" of consciousness?...you still can't spell. Does sound lke you're having a good time though. Just be careful out there! Love MOM
That $225 tee shirt paid the way for some cool memories...
Like Carol powering through a forced 20 mile 11+mph uphill ride, John finally conceding that it was not a wasted 48 minutes beating bush-- heck we would have moved for 30 anyway:), me playing river raid for point 9, or watching Sam reinforce the premise that the Darn Canal road was not only flat but the way we should have went!!!!
I like the fact that the overriding theme of our lessons learned is that John was wrong. :)
That in itself is valuable.
The Wortman family liked "attention span roughly equivalent to that of an over-caffeinated hummingbird.". As a result - it was the last 2 days comment from everything. I think it most closely described their Dog.
Anyone check the packing list for the next race:)
On Carol's prodding I have checked the packing list for the Krista. I think I am just going to start a new top-level story for comments on the Krista so that it is easy to find for future reference.
Thank you for the inspiration and motivation! Hope to have a workout or two to share soon :-)
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